The Subaru Crowd

I see them on all the popular trails. Mostly they are older women with severe hair cuts, trekking poles, khaki colored convertible pants, platypus hydration bladders and Subaru outbacks or Foresters. They eat things like Waldorf salad and feta cheese that they purchased at the local way too expensive organic food co-op.

They don't like hikers who don't wear their hiking uniform. They tend to hike as fast as they can and only spend 10 minutes eating lunch after bagging a peak. They are in a big race and out to prove that they are not little old ladies.

I think I really upset a group of them on my last hike. There they were in their neat hiking uniforms and on a very serious hike. But it was an easy hike so there I was with 25 pounds of toddler on my back and no trekking poles, (I like my trekking poles but I don't bring them along unless I'm going to be gaining and losing about 1000 feet per mile) my shirt was a lacy purple thing but it was synthetic. My hydration bladder hose was hidden because my toddler would not stop tearing the bite valve off.

Ah but perhaps my worst offence was bringing along two second grade girls. One had stuffed animals dangling from her backpack and the other was carrying a bright pink lunch box in her hand. Neither were wearing a hiking uniform.

The hiker snobs wanted to think that they were on a serious hike but my crew kinda ruined that image. One of them asked me (in an incredulous tone of voice) if I was going ALL the way the top .

Hell it was only 6 miles round trip with very little elevation gain and switchbacks so gentle that you could see down three levels. Lower Lena Lake for those of you familiar with ONF.

No need for trekking poles or hiker uniforms on this hike.

Are these snobs a global phenom or is it mostly a Pacific Northwest thing?